Us born againers

I had recently moved to Illinois to attend Trinity Divinity School near Chicago. Having reached a fairly hirsute state about the ears, I repaired to a hairdressing establishment in the small town in which we were now residing. My barber, having determined my reason for moving to the area, immediately placed me in a pigeon hole of his choosing. He began to speak of 'us born againers'.

While I would not have employed the term in quite that way (particularly with the connotations it carries in the U.S. of the religious right), I did not object in principle to the notion that he and I shared a certain religious experience. I had long ago memorized scriptural passages emphasizing the need for some kind of birth from above in order to enter the kingdom of God. The best known involves a conversation between Jesus and a man named Nicodemus.

John 3:3-7 

³ Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.” 

⁴ “How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!”

⁵ Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. ⁶ Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. ⁷ You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’

On the face of it, this passage seems to be saying that entry into the kingdom of heaven (or kingdom of God) requires a spiritual renewal, literally a birth from above. As it is explained to Nicodemus, this appears to be a conscious choice rather than an automatic process. 

How do I reconcile the old evangelical emphasis on the necessity of consciously choosing to pursue spiritual renewal, and thus gain admission to God's kingdom, with my new conviction that kingdom membership is the default option for humankind unless an individual opts out?

I've lost contact with that barber--in fact, I barely need one now--so I'll have to go it alone. This may take a while, so please take that comfort break and recharge your glass while I work this out.